I’ve been very busy lately getting the plans together for the wedding. Things are really coming together. Today the band Red Weather called to confirm that they will play for the reception. We are so happy. These guys are the ones that really got me and Brian together in the first place. It will be so good to see them again. They don’t even play together any more, they each have their own projects and other bands they are with now, so this is really special for us and there are going to be a lot of our friends that are going to be so happy to hear that they are coming together just for me and Brian’s wedding. How cool is that? They will play on Sat. night and we have a heavy metal band, called Signal Seven that will play on Friday night for Brian’s bachelor party. There is so much to do for this but somehow it’s all getting done and soon we will be ready.
Brian went out last night to have some fun with a few friends and I stayed in with my son, Shawn. We had a pretty good time, talking and watching a little TV together. He told me he had been thinking about the time his brother hit him in the head with a hammer. That was the first time I had to take Shawn to the ER. Shawn was about 4 years old and Aaron was about 10 years old. We were in Union Grove, NC at a big Powwow. We had gotten there and had set up camp and gone over to the dance arena for a while. When it was over for the night, we went back to our tent to change our clothes for the evening. Shawn and I were in the tent and Aaron was outside telling me he wanted to build a campfire. Well, I told him no, first of all because the campground didn’t want us building any new fire pits and secondly because since we had gotten there, I hadn’t had a chance to call my Mom and Dad and let them know that we had gotten there safely and we needed to go and do that. Aaron wanted to argue about it and wouldn’t listen to me and he got madder and madder about it. All the while Aaron is using the hammer we brought to dig into the dirt to make a circle for the fire he wants to build. Soon Shawn and I came out of the tent having finished dressing. Aaron was still arguing with me about it and then Shawn came out and started like teasing Aaron, he says Momma said no, ha, ha or something like that. Well he runs up behind Aaron and hits him on the back and immediately Shawn runs off to Aaron’s left. The next thing I know, Aaron throws the hammer to the right. I don’t really think that Aaron ever meant to hit Shawn with anything let alone a hammer. But somehow Shawn turned and ran in kind of a circle that intersected perfectly with that flying hammer. It came down and hit Shawn right in the top of his head and Shawn hit the dirt hard. It was midnight or after and dark and there was my baby laying on the ground in a puddle of blood with a huge gash in the top of his head and I was a basket case. It ain’t like I hadn’t ever seen blood or nothing but that was my youngest baby there on the ground bleeding and we were in a strange town and well I just didn’t know what to do. But sometimes things have a way of happening just the way they are supposed to and you find yourself in the best place you can be even when things are not good. People came from everywhere and they were just the kind of people I needed right at that time. There were EMTs and nurses there helping Shawn and then there was another lady that lived in the area and knew right where the nearest hospital was and gave me great directions to it and then there was a guy there who picked Shawn up and put him in my car for me. They really helped me to calm down and do what I needed to do to help my baby. I took Shawn to the hospital in Statesville, NC. They were great there too. Took him in right away, took x-rays and all. Shawn has one hell of a hard head. The Doctor said she didn’t think he had taken the head of the hammer to the head that it was probably the handle of it that had hit him but it was still pretty bad. We made Aaron stand there and watch the Doctor stitch Shawn’s head up. Nine stitches to the dome, Shawn’s head looked like a baseball. We thought maybe Aaron would be like grossed out by watching the stitches going in and maybe he wouldn’t be so mean to his brother and would think about his actions more, but I don’t think it really worked. I think Aaron probably thought it was kinda cool to watch but then he was kinda weird about stuff like that anyway.
I’ve been trying to research my Native American ancestry a little lately. It’s very difficult to find out much of any thing about it all. I know that my Great-great-grandFather was a full blooded Native and he married a French woman. I don’t know her name but I know his “white man’s”name was John Lawrence. I have always been told there was another name that no one in the family knew anything much about, the name Santamas. Of course I have no idea how it is spelled. But Tula from NativeAmericansRReal gave me some websites in Canada to look at. My GGGFather used to live in Canada near the St. Lawrence River/ Seaway. From those sites I came to the realization that maybe the name Santamas was actually the name of a town where he may have lived or something and that the town is actually St. Thomas. I checked out the map and it is near the river, so maybe it is one more clue in my search. When I tried to look up the Aboriginal records for the year 1901, they said there were none. So I have to think of another way to find something out. Years ago, my Father tried to do some research on our genealogy. He was able to find out quite a lot of stuff on his family and on my Mom’s Father’s family but practically nothing on my Mom’s Mom’s family. I did find one John Lawrence but he lived in Sidney Township, Hastings Co. and was married in 1832 to Mary Maddan. I don’t think that’s the one though.

I put a pretty shirt and a skirt on and went out today to see my Doctor. It was a beautiful spring day. A little breezy and a lot of sunshine, I think it would have been a very hot day, if not for the wind. I walked out my front door this afternoon and took a deep breath of the fresh spring air. It opened my senses and woke me up. I looked into the sky and saw the blue of it with the brand new little buds and little flowers that have started to bloom on some of the flowering trees. I told Shawn that the color of the sky right then was the first color I ever remember seeing and as a child growing up, it was my most favorite color of all. I don’t know how old I was when I first noticed colors, I just know that the color of the sky in the springtime was my first favorite color. I love the way the redbuds and weeping cherries look against a clear blue sky.
When I got back from my Doctor’s appointment, it was so nice outside, I didn’t want to go back inside, so I went down in the back yard to look at my flowers. They were all in bloom and so pretty. Brian helped me cut a few and we took them to my Momma. Unfortunately, my scooter’s batteries are not holding a charge very well these days and the dang thing died on me in the back yard. Brian had to push me up to the front of the house. I tried to go to Momma’s but it just wouldn’t do it. I had Brian knock on her door and ask her if she could come to the door for a minute. I think it made her very happy and I know she was very surprised too. She looked nice today but she needs to get out side more. It would be so good for her. Our houses are stuffy and stinky from the winter and need to be aired and cleaned. It’s good to get out and away from the stuffiness too. She looked pretty strong but she was very pale. She said she has been coughing a lot too. I can understand why. Stuffy house + dust+ animals,(cats and dogs) + spring allergies= lots of coughing and throat irritation, right? Right. My house is just as bad. We need to get on to some Spring cleaning, along with planning a wedding
It’s been a very long day today and I am pretty tired, and I still need to see if I can find a black tuxedo to get for Shawn to wear. He’s going to look so handsome in a tux. I can’t wait to see him in one, he’s never worn one before. Well, off to Ebay and then to bed Night ya’ll. I will catch up with all of you guys tomorrow, so be good and love one another

It’s raining outside tonight, and I just heard thunder too. At first, they were saying it was going to be so bad. The little AOL weather thingy showed the sun all covered up with a really dark cloud and lightening and rain coming down and all but then a minute ago I looked and they had changed it to partly cloudy only. Tuesday is supposed to be kinda windy. I have a Doctor’s appointment for Tuesday to get my meds renewed. I hope it’s not too bad. I don’t like to go out in bad weather, it makes me feel so bad and it makes me hurt worse than I usually do. Sometimes I think if I didn’t feel pain everyday, I wouldn’t know it I was alive or not. I guess it’s like being pain free is like being in heaven or something and people say you can’t be in heaven if you are still alive, right?
When I was a kid in high school, I used to write a lot of poetry. We had moved out into the country and there were no other kids my age that lived around, so I was pretty much alone a lot. I spent a lot of my time with my notebook and a pen, up in a field, sitting on a bale of hay, writing about teenage angst. I thought I would never find love or be loved by anyone. That was a long, long time ago and I haven’t written any poetry since then. I guess I got too busy either trying to find love or trying to find a way to forget about it. I think I found a lot of ways to forget about it but finding it was another story all together. Yeah, I found a lot of what I thought was love or what I thought would lead to love. Now I know what love really feels like. It is easy, comfortable, sweet and it doesn’t ever hurt. I don’t ever have to hide anything from my love and I never feel used in any way. It is a very good feeling. I love my man and my man loves me just as much as I love him.

The lightening lights up the night sky
The thunder rumbles across the mountains
I hear the rain drops on my roof
My goldfish are hungry
the mice are needing their cage cleaned out
I’m watching the Sopranos on my TiVo
who pays someone to shoot them in the ass?
Cesar is growling at the thunder
the fish are eating, they seem so happy now
Will Tony have a change in his life for good?
Ok that was a feeble attempt at a poem
but I guess you gotta start somewhere

I have never ridden in a car with the driver’s side on the right. I think it would be very strange to drive a car from the right side and very strange to ride on the left as a passenger. Driving on the left side of the road would be odd too but I think I would get used to it quicker than with the driver’s side being on the right. I mean I already drive on two lanes or more and have no problem with driving on the left side of those roads, so it stands to reason that driving on the left side of the road wouldn’t be all that weird, right?
I’m watching this movie on TV and this guy finds out his girl is cheating on him so he gets all these tanks of helium and he and his buddies blow up all these balloons and tie them to his lawn chair while they are having a party and watching a soccer game on the telly. Well, they make a goal or something and they all jumped up except for the first guy and off he floats. His girl is all freaking out and the air traffic controllers at the air port start seeing him just as he floats off into a bad thunder storm. Then the fireworks start going off and it looks like they are going off in his crotch and then the people see him and think he is a UFO. The balloons all catch fire and down he goes into this lady’s tree and she puts the fire out by spraying him with a fire extinguisher. It’s pretty funny, with all the accents and the crazy shit this guy is going through. The movie is called “Danny Deckchair”. I’ve never heard of it before but it is kinda funny.
Well, I’d better go and get some things done. I’ve got a lot to do these days
Oh, yeah, I heard on Headline News that somebody stole Jerry Garcia's toilet! What's up with that? Brian wants to know if it was gold plated or something. Now I'm thinking damn, Brian, Jerry wasn't Saddam Houssen or what ever the fuck his name is. I really don't think the damn thing was gold or nothing, just a regular porcelian toilet that belonged to Jerry Garcia. Damn, somebody stole Jerry's pot!

My Friday fun facts:
1. I love to watch all the soap operas on ABC and will tape them on my TiVo and watch them in the middle of the night. ABC soaps are the best, they have the best actors, actresses and set designs and the best story lines and best of all, they never show reruns
2. I love the showtime show “Weeds” and it’s back on I’ve got two episodes on my TiVo to watch and I can’t wait to see them
3. I love the way sun light reflects off of water. It reminds me of my childhood days spent at a cottage in Upstate New York on a lake called Star Lake.
4. I am extremely, and I do mean extremely ticklish I can’t stand to have anyone touch my feet or to tickle me That’s a very big no-no with me.
5. I was born with three birth defects, I was born flat footed, pigeon toed and knock kneed. I wore braces at night for years as a child to correct the pigeon toed part, metal arch supports in my corrective shoes and had to have my legs stretched by my Dad every night until they realized that my knock knees where because my bones were growing wrong. It was very painful and when I was about 12 years old they did surgery on my legs to stop the way my bones were growing, so the one side could catch up and my legs would be straight. I almost died on the operating table, they said I was allergic to sodium Pentothal. I was given the drug two more times for surgeries and the same thing happened each time even after they tested me for an allergy to the drug which didn’t show as a positive for it, so now I don’t get it and I have heard they don’t use sodium pentothal to put people to sleep any more. Thank the Goddess for that one.

Well, I had a fitting for my wedding dress the other day. It’s going to be so beautiful. My friend Karen is fixing it for me. I got the dress at a show in Charlottesville for like $40. It’s a cute little white hippie dress with some embroidery on it and little thin straps, no sleeves. I’m going to have it tye-dyed for the wedding. I found a white tuxedo with tails on it on Ebay for Brian and we are going to have it tye-dyed too. I think I will get some tye-dyed sheets to use for table clothes too. I think I will have lots of different colors and type of flowers around too. I found a bag with 100 tea lights in it at Big Lots that I think will come in handy too. My friend, Catfish, brought me a bunch of sage that I can use to cleanse and purify the circle. It’s getting closer and closer and things are starting to come together for us. It won’t be long now and it’s party time

Shawn went fishing today but he didn’t catch anything. I think he had fun, though. He really likes going fishing. I’d hate to see how he would be if he caught a seriously large fish. He’d probably explode with all the excitement of it. I’d like to see him catch a big one. I’m already so proud of him, maybe I would just pop if he were to catch something really big.

Brian has been very sick lately. It’s his own fault. He’s been partying too, too much and abusing his body way too much. I almost had him convinced to go to the hospital and get his stomach checked out but at the last minute, he chickened out. I think he has an ulcer in there and it’s been acting up. We were going to a healing ritual earlier tonight but he was so sick all day and when he finally settled down, well, we hadn’t gotten too much sleep with all that going on, so we just got some sleep. Oh well, sleep is very healing too. Now, I’m starving, gotta get something to eat soon. And so does he.

I’ve gotta make a list of names of people to invite to our wedding. Yep, gotta get on it, like now. I’m such a procrastinator. And I’m so darned lazy. Gotta getter done, girl!

Whew wee, I’m back from the show. Ratdog and Bob Wier rocked It was an awesome show, a little subdued but still very nice. The Electric Factory could be a really cool place but not When we got to the lot, the parking people were so fucking rude. As soon as they heard I was handicapped and needed a little extra space in order to get my scooter out, they said out, out, go out that way in their cute little Jamaican accents. We went almost out of the lot, when I said to Brian, no, just back this sucker up, we gonna get us a parking space, damn it. Well, one of the parking guys comes up to us and Brian is all getting a little upset. I’m like dude I got tickets to tonight’s show and I really need somewhere close by to park. He says pay me $10, you park, mon. I say cool, and we finally get parked. We get out and I go to Will call and got our tickets, no problem and then I decided to go on in since it was almost show time and I was freezing. Well, the door people are nearly strip searching everybody. They looked in my purse and then they looked in my medicine bag. They saw my meds that are in my name and say, I gotta leave my shit with them, I’m like ah, no way, that ain’t happening. My shit don’t leave my eyes, it sits right between my legs and it ain’t going no where. And also there was some stuff in there that I didn’t want them to know about and I could just see them going thru that bag and being like, whoo hoo, what have we here? So I just told them I was going to go back to the car and drop off my meds and then I would be back. I took off and went between a couple of cars and thought about things a bit. Brian was off in the lot somewhere so I knew I wouldn’t be able to find him and besides that I wasn’t planning on leaving anything in my freaking car This was one time where being fat and having a big old belly came in handy. Oh yes, everything went right under my big fat belly, I knew that would be one place that none of those girls were gonna go to Shit, that was some fucked up shit, there, hardcore. After a few more minutes and I’m starting to think this must be my Friday the 13th Oh but it ain’t over yet, my friends, oh no. The girl takes me to where they got a platform for the handicapped people. It’s cool, most people are short enough that we have a great view of the show and all. Well, I get there pretty early and soon my friend Lois and her hubby, Charlie show up and soon we are all rocking with Bobby and the band and having a great time, when suddenly I’m getting soaked, I look up and someone up on the balcony had kicked a beer over and I caught the whole thing right in the top of my head It was so crowded around me and so loud and I couldn’t get out from under it No one around me knew what was going on and I just got wetter and wetter. Finally I got everyone to understand and move for me, but by then, my hair and my clothes had just about absorbed it all. And I was the designated driver Ah, no, ossiffer, I didn’t drink even one beer, I just smell like I did.
After the show, we all went to a Chinese Restaurant. I got some shrimp fried rice and a spring roll. It was really good too. Chinese from Chinatown in Philly I love it
Now I am back at the hotel with the wonderful high speed internet access. I had to bring the laptop. I have grown rather accustomed to this thing. It is a lot of fun. I didn’t get to finish my five Friday fun facts. Let’s see, what can I come up with tonight.
1. I’m in Philadelphia, Pa for the weekend Ratdog rules
2. I dream in color all the time.
3. I think I was Asian in a former life.
4. I danced for four years in Native American Powwows in full regalia, that I made myself.
5. I went to College to be a commercial artist.
There you go folks, yet another fun five
I’m tired, so I’m gonna go and check out what’s going on in the stream and then hit the bed and catch some shuteye.
Oh yeah, while Brian went to get our dinner at the Chinese restaurant, I waited in the car in the middle of Chinatown at 2 am. And guess what I saw? A rat. It came from a building that looked like people lived in it, like apartments or something. Obviously, no one in the place had a cat, right? Wait, what happened to all the cats? Oh no.......