In memory of Aaron Dean "Pinns" Wright, Rage on Spirit Warrior!

born: December 24, 1981 died: September 13, 2000

I did something today that I haven't done in more than two years. I went next door and saw my Mom. Yep, I got all dressed up. Brian bought me a beautiful blouse with green glitter on it. It is black with a green design on it and full of green glitter. I wore my black skirt and my red and black santa hat too. I got on my little scooter and rode over there. Shawn said my scooter would roll right in and he was right. It did. Easy as could be. We had a very nice time there. Shawn and Brian came too. I think it made her very happy. Her house looked very nice too. Ashlyn does a very good job on it. Poor thing was so sick. She didn't even make up stairs. I hope she feels better by tomorrow. It just sucks being sick on Christmas.
We had our annual birthday party for Aaron tonight. It was great. Lots of his old friends and our friends came by. Rorey baked a triple threat chocolate cake, Jenny fixed me what she called a Southern Santa, it's eggnog and coconut rum, yummy, then she got sick, too much alcohol and not enough food, and Sherry looked like she was about pop any minute and I tried to talk her into having the baby in my back bedroom tonight! Sherry was Aaron's last girlfriend before he died. We had two little babies out here tonight that were both named for Aaron, Sherry and Joey's Gavin Aaron and Selina and Mark's Aaron Lee. That was so cool. Gavin is 18 months old and Aaron is 3 months old. I feel like they are my little granbabies. We had a lot of fun together tonight. Me and my kids!
Looking forward to tomorrow, Brian's Mom, Desiree is coming to visit! I love her so much. I have known her for like 30 years, we just didn't keep real close touch in all those years. And now, I am going to marry her son! She is only 6 months older than I am, we get along so very well. She's an angel on earth. Her voice is so beautiful, I love to hear her, she makes me feel so calm and tranquile. I know her mind is not always so peaceful or calm, but she deserves all the best, peace and tranquilty.

Ok, Santa will be here soon and I am so tired and this blouse is pretty but it is getting scratchy feeling, so I gotta go take it off and get into something a little more comfy. I had enough of being sparkly and sexy for one night! Good night, kiddies, sleep tight, no peeking, Santa's watching!

I sent flowers to my Mom and my Mother-in-Law for chrismas. MIL got hers on wed. She called and left a message, there were tears, I could hear them in her voice. She was so suprised and so happy. When I talked to her, she said they were the most beautiful flowers she has ever seen. Then today, she called me to tell me something very odd. She was looking at the box they came in and she says someone had scribbled the word "Grandma" on it. She says the first thing she thought of was, it was from Aaron. He loved her very much and never let her see his dark side. Believe me, he had a very dark side. I am glad she never saw it. I'm so glad that all she has in her memory of him is all the good that was in him and nothing bad. To her he was an angel when he was alive. His birthday is coming up. Dec. 24th. I am so glad I have made so many good friends both here and in my real world too. You guys on the stream are so good to me. I am trying so hard to get the holiday spirit but at times it is so hard. Sometimes when I am reading all the other blogs talking about wishing everyone a merry christmas and all the good wishes and stuff, I hear this little nasty voice in my mind that says, fuck christmas and man, I am getting so sick of hearing all the crap about good wishes to all and everything like that. It just seems so gushy and sappy. But then I realyze that we all need to stay positive no matter what happens and life does go on. It's ok if I feel down just a little, I have that right. Don't think I don't get it, I do get it. I just have to have my little 5 min. pity party everyso often. I guess I'm just a little down after hearing about that coach's son being found dead at 18. How fucked up is that? I know how this feels and right at christmas time. The really bad part is I heard that the kid commited suicide! What a fucked up thing to do to your family at christmas time and all! I just don't know what else to say, it's just so wrong.
Can't stay down for too long. Not with Shawn around. He is playing with the tubes from the wrapping paper rolls. Using them like they are didjerdos or a horn or something...right in my ear! Oh my God, he just scared the shit out of the cat. And now he is using it like a blow gun... or something like a weapon of some sort. Let's see, the dog is in hiding and I ain't seeing no cats, oh wait there's Smokey. He wants to go out, I wonder why? Shawn wrapped all the presents and I made out the tags. Our little wacky weed tree is decorated and all lit up. Smokey still wants out. meow. Ok says Shawn, go freeze your little ass off. Oh he said freeze your little nonads off! I'm sorry I got that wrong, my bad!
Well, now he wants to use my laptop, so I will let him and will blog more later.

Ok, trying to keep the spirit here. People are so wierd. Living a spottless life, can't live in a dirty house, no plastic surgery! Donate what?

Wow i just hit a button, the wrong one and got a web site on my post here, how the heck did i do that? All I was trying for was a question mark. jeez.

OMG, people are so strange. Or maybe it's just TV that's strange. Oh well.

Tried to get my meds refilled today. Managed to get one of them ok. One isn't time to refill yet and of course the other one has to have preauthorization every dang month! that one requires a second head bundt!

Shawn has spent all day trying to get a game demo to download on my computer. He says my computer is a piece of crap. Whatever, I don't seem to have that much trouble with it. I love it and I'm the one paying for it, so there.

Well, my eyes feel so much better today. They have been stinging and really hurting so much. They were like running gooey stuff too. I was begining to think I had a little pink eye or something, little hard crusties in my eyes and all, but tonight I feel much better. No running, no crusties, no stinging, and no pain! yea! and I can't see better too. I don't know maybe it was eye strain or something. I do stay on this computer way too much, I suppose. But I'm just getting started. I still have so much to learn, and so many things I want to write about. Already my typing is getting better and better. Now if I could just learn how to spell.

Screw it, that's what they make spell checkers for.

I made a list last summer of things I would like to do in my life. I think I will post it here and see if anyone else has a list like mine.

1. just once I want to swim with the dolphins
2. go back to school and become a paralegal
3. get a part time job as a paralegal
4. be an actress on a daytime soap opera, preferably, All My Children, One Life to Live or General Hospital
5. I want to dance again, I'd like to belly dance again
6. Have a Tarot Card reading booth at Music Festivals and do tarot card readings
7. get handfasted or married to Brian

I can't think of anything else, maybe I could wish to be a pole dancer in a strip club for Sir William and do lapdances. No really, maybe not. Well I can in my mind, right?

Well, we are getting ready for the big Birthday party this week end. Not xmas, that's right, Birthday. Aaron's Birthday was Dec. 24th and I never really got to celebrate it on his Birthday. Hard to get other kids to come. Now the kids are all grown and they come out on their own. We get together on the 24th and have some fun and talk about how much we miss my boy and we share stories of our times with him. It's been 5 years since he died and the kids still come. I'm glad, they cheer me up so much. Otherwise, I would just cry all night. I'm such a cry baby. Aaron would hate it. He hated to see me cry, so does Shawn and Brian. Sometimes it is hard on me, because I am such a cry baby and I try so hard to not cry so I won't upset them. Sometimes I go into the bathroom and let myself have a 5 min. pity party and I let her rip. Then I dry my eyes and try so hard to stop before coming out of there. I have to be strong for them and sometimes I just get tired of having to be so strong. Sometimes I don't feel strong at all.

Man, I hope the Packers win tonight against the Ravens. I really hate football. But my old man loves it, I mean really loves it. He loves it so much and knows so much about it, he could be an announcer or something, maybe a coach too.

My girl, Danielle, just came in and told me her Mom was taking her brother to work this morning and there was a dead body on the side of the road! She said some one hit the woman and killed her, as she was walking across the road to go to work. Man, that is rough. Work and work and then what you are crossing the street and someone gonna plow you down. That ain't no way to go, man. That's just to damn cruel.

Cesar pretty much molested Danielle as he always does. He has great taste in the ladies, that's why one of his middle names is Romeo. Danielle used to be one of Aaron's girlfriends. That was when Aaron was going with Cassie and her. Every man's dream right? Two women at once. Yea, he loved it. First it was Cassie and Danielle and then later it was Cassie and Keegan and Aaron. Cassie was a bitch though. I'll probably get to her later. Gotta go now, the bag is full, gotta go drain it!

Life is all about   asses