I got this one from one of my Yahoo! groups and I just had to share it with all you guys that read my blog. This one is for us all!

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car convertible with an automatic transmission and air conditioning.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Helloooo?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards, ok?

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.



Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

I am sitting here this morning watching the local news channel. Some sicko shot a bunch of cows down in Pittsylvania, Co. Va. Two of the cows have died. 14 or 15 others are wounded, some critically. The police have found 41 bullet casings on the site. I think this happened yesterday morning. The poor farmer got up and went to take care of his cattle and that is what he found. Dead and dying cows everywhere. Man, somebody is really fucked up to do something like this. My heart just aches for those poor cows, they look so scared and they don't even know why. I don't know why either. Sometimes people do things I just don't understand. I hope they catch who ever did this. They deserve to do some jail time for it. It's one thing to kill for food, but killing for no real purpose like this, is not right. It just makes me sick. It makes me so angry. Lynchburg, VA 's Mayor was indicted on 7 charges of Social Security fraud and creating false documents. This man is a church minister and a personal friend of none other than the Rev. Jerry Falwell. Everybody thinks the Mayor is taking the fall for Jerry, or at least that Jerry had his hand in things just as much as the mayor. They both make me sick. They think they are above the law and can do anything they want to.

I went to my Doctor yesterday. It was a check up for the meds I’m on. Painkillers and antidepressants. They really don’t do much good, maybe a little, but not much. At least they make me feel better when I am just sitting around, walking, nothing seems to help that pain. The Dr. Says I am getting better and she is right, I am getting better. It’s just so slow in happening. I have dreams of being able to walk without any problems and in them I am thinking how wonderful it is that I can walk like that, but then I wake up and reality sets in. But anyway, Brian took me to the Dr. In Roanoke and we had a very nice day. After we went to the Doctors, we did what we always do and went to the Long John Silver’s restaurant on Williamson Road. Then we went over to Valley View Mall and Catherine’s. I was looking for a couple of dresses and maybe some night gowns or something. I got 3 really pretty night gowns and 3 shirts. I wore one of the night gowns last night. I was so pleasantly surprised, I love the color, dark teal green, and it fit! I love it. Now I can only hope that the rest of what I bought will fit. I got a beautiful sparkly green and black blouse for x-mas that I thought I could wear with my black skirt. I think Brian really got into shopping with me too. He was picking out night gowns and shirts and dresses and showing them to me, telling me which ones he liked. He picked out this one slutty looking nightie with a throw robe thingy. It was really gaudy. Big pink and orange flowers and black lace with a pink ribbon laced through the middle of the lace. I don’t know, but I just didn’t like it too much. I found another one, kinda designed like it but without the large gaudy flowers or the black lace. It is just a pale pink with pink flowers, roses I think, no black lace, no lace at all. Hey, it’s just as slutty looking, just with a little more class. I can’t wait to try on the rest of the clothes we got now.

I also got my Mom a new house dress too. I hope she likes it and I hope it will fit her. She is so hard to please sometimes but she has always been that way, so it is nothing new. I buy her something and she doesn’t really like it and I just try to forget about it. Even though I know that whatever I buy her to wear she would buy for herself but since I went and got it for her, she doesn’t want it. It doesn’t fit or she can’t stand the length of it or something or another will be wrong with it. So I am expecting her not to like it or maybe I just ain’t expecting nothing, that way I won’t be disappointed.

Yes, we had a very nice time yesterday. The sun was shining but it was so cold out. Too cold for me. Now I got a snotty nose and my throat feels a little scratchy. We were going to Atlantic City to see Phil and Friends but I don’t want to go out in the cold and catch one. It’s going to be like 30 degrees up there. Man, wish I didn’t feel so bad. I would get up and go. Like Brian says the boardwalk is going to be just full of hippies. It would be so much fun, what a party it is going to be. I just can’t hang like I used to. I don’t do alcohol and my painkillers really don’t work that well and I know how cold does me. It causes a lot of pain, pain in my knees, pain in my back, pain in my neck, pain in my arms, pains everywhere. Anyway, I am sick of pain and ain’t trying to cause myself more, so here I am at home.

These little smileylies or whatever are so cool and so easy to use. I really want to thank Pioneer for all his hard work in making this blog stream the very best that it can be. This the first time I have done the blog thing and I had the good luck of landing right here. I always say that everything happens for a reason. I needed all of the people here on Blogstream and I guess maybe you all needed me too. Gotta have some of that southern flavor mixed in, east coast southern that is, well, I wasn't born here but I have lived here most of my life. Anyhow, shout out to Pioneer for adding yet more good clean fun to the internet!

It tried to snow here yesterday but we didn't really get that much. It got really cold tonight and all of that wet snow that had melted has now frozen pretty good. The wind picks up from time to time and you can hear the ice as it tinkles along the sides of my trailor and it's windows. I told ya'll I was trailor trash, I just don't live in a trailor court, I live on my Parent's property in the woods, with no grass, just trees and rocks. Oh yea, and I got a red neck yard too! Complete with a hot tub in the front yard and various bike parts and a gas grill, etc. Maybe I'll get Shawn to take a picture of it so ya'll can check it out. The lights went out a few minutes ago, didn't stay off, but I'm a little afraid they may go off and stay off.

Brian and Shawn are watching Pulp Fiction. They think it is funny, I think I think it is gross, I ain't liking it too much, too much blood and shooting and other nasty stuff going on in it.

Happy Holidays!

Woohooo!!! I finally got some pictures posted on my blog! And I got me an icon!!! That's a picture of my sweet little Cesar Romeo Houdini MacTyson, the tiny Roman King! If you check out my pictures, you will see him first and then my Chubby Hubby and then the next one is me. I got lots others to put up but I can't get them to upload, I think they are too big. Can anyone tell me what I can do about it? I want to show you all pictures of my son, but it won't take it. I will put some more pictures up and keep trying.